Letting Go
by Silver Mystic
Summary: Throw all the trials Kagome held true, but now it's time for a change for her to be true to her self. Ratings will go up
1. Now

(I don't own Inuyasha! I've made some changes and I really need a beta)

June 21st

'_Why?_' was the only thought that ran thought the girls mind as she look out the window to the darkened sky that opened up and let heavens tears descend. A single tear escaped and ran down her cheek but didn't stop there, more and more fell. Yet she made not a sound simply starred blankly out at the night, asking her self '_why?_' but never receiving an answer. And as the night drowned on the heavens continued to weep for the girls' torn soul.

One week later-

'_Happiness is good health and a poor memory. Or denial, denials good._' she thought with a bitter smile. '_I wonder why He hasn't come and gotten me. _Sight _he's probable with her, the female Naraku. Then again he could be in his tree._' She blinked back her tears and wiped the cynical smile off her face. '_Why dose every thing remind me of him'_ she looked down to her unfinished homework then to her book '**_History of Japan_**' sweat drop '_OK-that doesn't count_' pushing her books aside and leaning back in her chair she came to a conclusion. '_Nothing is going to change unless I do something about. And I refuse to sit back and let myself be hurt again. So either I tell him, I don't and seal the well permanently, going back and doing nothing is not an option. Or a combination, tell him and leave…Damn that jewel it is the root of all evil or is that power, but the jewel gives you power….I need caffeine._' With that conclusion she left only to retune with a 6-pack of cream sodas and a bag of cotton candy.

"Nice breakfast, Can it be breakfast if it's 2 in the morning? Well it's breakfast some where in the world."

Some time between 4 and 6 in the morning (meaning she fell asleep some where in between). The sun began to rise above the horizon. As the light hit the slumbering teen's face her eyes began to open to the new day. Looking around she wonder when she had fallen asleep. For she was in a rather uncomfortable spot on her window seal, with her math book in her lap. '_I have no more tears to cry. Even if I did I wound not let them fall he has made his chose and if he's happy then I wont stand in his way._' She thought with a sad smile. '_Why me_' she eyed the geometry book suspiciously 'I_ can hack my way in to in computer system across the world but can't get geometry' _she sighs_ 'sure make a lot of sense_'. Looking to the rising son she begins to whisper to her self.

'_The sunrise brings forth the beginning of a new day. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday or the day before. You can always start over. Mistakes can be forgotten and lives can begin again. Sometimes I just want to forget it. But I can't, because if I did I would forget all my friends and him, even if he is a bastared _(ahhh that works on so many levels)_. I could never forget him no matter what. Besides how can I know if I'm truly happy if I don't know what it's like to be sad? OK that's a load of crap but hell I have to come up with something to make myself fell better…then again there is always death by chocolate ice-cream, and I must say not a bad way to go. I needed a reason to make a new start, anyway a new start would be a good thing, I think_.'

The girl stud up took a deep breath to compost her self. '_First things first a hot bath and Simi-decent breakfast, and a tight top and short skirt. And on to the mall' _With her plan in mind she when into her bather connected to her room and stared a bath bubbles and all. '_Now what was that saying… If you love something, set it free, If it doesn't return then it was never meant to be. Yeah that's it, but I'm starting to think that him and how ever came up with "The truth shall set you free" where ether heavily medicated, on drugs or drooped repeatedly on there head as a child. Great I'm talking to myself, lovely_' Striping out of her clothes from yesterday she settles down into the nice bath, and for the first time in a while she began to relax, well tried to. "I suppose I wont worry about my mental health until I hear voice some where besides my head- like my leg, then I'll check my self in to the nut house"

Everything was quite save the slight swish of the water ever now and then. '_Who the hell I'm I kidding I love him and that's not going away. I can't just put it out of my mind and suddenly be happy. Damn my heart, I just had to falling for the one I can't have._' She blinked back tears from her eyes that are shadowed with heartbreak. '_Why can't you love me, Why do you chose her over me?_' She bit her lip to keep from crying. '_I won't cry, I wont!_' She began to sing softly to her self.

_**Ate monaku sama yotte ita  
Tegakari monaku sagashi tsuzuketa  
Anata ga kureta omoi de o  
Kokoro o iyasu uta nishite **_

_**Yakusoku mo suru koto monaku  
Kawasu koto bamo kimetari mosezu  
Dakishime soshite tashika mete  
Hibiwa nido to kaeranau **_

_**Kioku no naka no te ofuru anata wa  
Watashi no namae o yobuko toga deki runo**_

_**Afureru sono namida o  
Kagaya kuyuu kini kaete  
Inochi wa tsuzuku  
Yoruo koe uta gau koto nonai  
Ashitare totsuzuku**_

_**Tobu tori no mukou no sorade  
Ikutsu no kioku azuke tada rou  
Hakanai kibou mo yume mo  
Todokanai basyo ni wasurete**_

_**Meguri aunowa guuzen toi e runo?  
Wakareru toki ga kanarazu kuru noni **_

_**Kieyuku unmei demo  
Kimi ga ikiteiru kagiri  
Inochi watsuzuku  
Eien ni sono chikara no kagiri  
Doko made mo **_

_**Watashi ga shinou tomo  
Kimi ga ikiteiru kagiri  
Inochi watsuzuku  
Eien ni sono chikara no kagiri  
Doko made mo tsuzuku**_

"Sota plays to many Video games…. Even I know their theme songs."

Getting out she brushed her teeth, dried and brushed her hair, got dressed and it was off to the mall.

She walked into the one of the mini salons in the mall. She nervously sat down as her lavender eyes glancing around. ' _This is it I said that a change was in order this is simply the next steep, taking out contacts was the fist now my hair then the outfit._'

"So moi cheery, what are we doing today?" asked a middle aged woman with a slight French accent.

"I-I don't know" She answered truthfully.

"Well why don't you tell me why you're here?" she asked kindly

"Well, I need a change…"

"Boy trouble?"

"How did you know?" asked slightly shocked teen. The woman gave a kind laugh

"Dear I've been doing hair for a long time, and I've seen it all. Just yesterday a young girl about your age came in and said the same thing" she paused.

"But then again she did it to get the attention of another young girl." '_So this is the lady Usagi was talking about_' (Sailor Moon not mine).

"I know" her thoughts where interrupted

"Your hair is much to pretty to cut so how about we do a couple highlights?" she nodded.

"By the way, my names Babbet."

"I'm Kagome" With a smile the two began talking like old friends. Kagome told her all about Inuyasha and Kikyou…except, Inuyashsa's just a boy, Kikyou is just another bitch ex and as far as Babbet new they meet a year and a half ago, she assumed through school, and about the wired dream she had last night.

As she talked to Babbet she realized that she didn't truly love Inuyasha that way, he was more like a brother. But that didn't stop her heart from hurting from what he did.

With a good bye and good luck Kagome went clothes shopping. She left with 20 bags. 3 full of shoes (2 pairs of ten-a-shoes, 2 pairs of boots 1 combat 1 set fashion boots, a pair of dancing shoes and a pair of pumps.). 4 bags from Hot Topics, 1 containing jeweler, 2 full of clothes, and one that has a Gothic Hello Kitty a present for a friend. She had 2 more bags with various accessories and 1 full of make up, well lip glosses, eye shadows and glitter. The other 10 bags where full of close form various stores.

When Kagome finally arrived home she was well, existed to say the lest. Going up to her room she set her bags down. Turning on her CD player she put on the soundtrack **Queen of the Damned **(only 'cause that's what I'm currently listening to) and turned it up as loud as it would go. Normally she would only do that with her headphones on but every one was visiting annuity Bell in the states so she didn't care.

Next she garbed the bags with the accessories, boots and clothes from Hot Topics. She took out the combat boots a pair of black low riser boot cut jeans with a chain that rapped around her waist. She pulled out a nave blue t-shirt with the words 'How to Add Insult to Injury' below it was three pictures the first: 2 stick figures one in front of a soccer goal net the other with a soccer ball. The next pic was of the stick figure kicking the ball and the last was of the goaly stick figure kneeling in pain from being hit in the groan with the ball and the kicker saying "and you ugly". (ever one get that?)

"It's time." She said to her self but didn't quite know how true that statement really was.

She packed her bag with: a couple pair jeans, a few shirts and her unmentionables. As well as a bikini, her new shoes, toiletries, some food, a mini camp-grill set est. Where not quite sure how she got all of this in the black back pack, still able to pick it up and not have the seems rip, just on of those life mysteries. She hesitated at her journal questioning where to bring it or not. Flipping through it she stopped on the second to the last entry:

'Flashback'-

Kagome sat by the campfire. Staring into the flames as they danced in a seduced belt that only few truly appreciate. Tearing her eyes away she looked around. Miroku was yet again unconscious. Sango was cleaning her gain boomerang thing (AN: can some one tell me what that's called?). Shippo was asleep curled up with Kirara. '_Awww there so cute_' and Inuyasha was sitting in the tree grumpy as ever. '_Why Inuyasha?_' she asked silently, one hand subconsciously raised her hand to her cheek. Sighing she picked up her journal and began to write.

**_Dear Lady Mikel, March 19th _**

**_I know not how much longer I can take this. He's hurt me to badly this time. So I'm going to leave to night, when every one is asleep, and Inuyasha goes to see Kikyou. I shall leave to go home. But this time I'm not sure if I'll be coming back. All he's ever done is lie to me, and hurt me. Weather on propose or not, I just can't take it any more._**

**You said you'd protect me, **

**But I wonder is it because you think I'm her.**

**Are eyes lock, **

**Do you see me or her?**

**You flash a sexy smile,**

**Do you smile at me or who you want me to be?**

**Love begins with a smile, **

**I fell for you smile.**

**Alone in the forest,**

**And you draw me near.**

**You protect me but not from your self.**

**I gave you me heart **

**And now all I have is tears.**

**Does loving you always ends with in tears.**

**Never say you love me, **

**When you do not really care **

**Never talk of feelings, **

**That aren't really there**

**Never squeeze my hand, **

**If you intend to break my heart. **

**Never tell me forever, **

**If you ever plan to part. **

**Never look me in the eye, **

**If you are going to lie. **

**Never say "hello" **

**If you will ever say goodbye. **

**Never say that I am the only one **

**If you dream of more than me,**

**Of the one you say I use to be.**

**Never lock up my heart **

**If you do not have the key. **

**You ignored what I told you**

**Now my heart is frozen to you. **

**I can never forget, **

**What you said that fateful day.**

**The way your eyes shined**

**Oh how you held me close**

**You said you loved **

**But you didn't really care**

**You told me how much you cared**

**But the feeling weren't truly there**

**You squeezed my hand **

**And then proceeded to broke my hart**

**Forever is forever no shorter then that**

**But you decided to part **

**You told me so many lies **

**As you gazed into my eyes **

**You said "hello" **

**But then you walked on by**

**You promised too never to say goodbye **

**You told me things you did not mean, **

**You dreamed of others, who were not me **

**I can not find the key to my heart **

**For you took it with you from the start **

**You left me alone in the end**

**And now that my heart is broken, **

**So many words left unspoken **

**I need someone **

**To hold me **

**To help me**

**To fight this evil that now controls who I am**

**To re-melt my frozen heart**

**To show me love once again**

**That someone I know see is not you**

**For you left me**

**When you said you wouldn't**

**You did not care **

**Even as you said you did**

**What am I supposed to do? **

**I searched for help **

**For love and happiness**

**Some one to mend this broken heart of mine**

**Is there any one who can?**

**Will I find them in time?**

**Or will my heart never mend?**

**Will I for ever be this way, alone and cold? **

**Am I destined to be forever alone?**

**-Kagome**

'_This is it. This is my good bye. I can't be hurt by you again. I wont be hurt bay you again._'

Kagome closed her journal and waited. An hour and a half later she stood at the lip of the well, she looked back into the dense forest, "Good bye Inuyasha" With that she walked a way, unaware of what lies in wait for her true destiny begins today.

'' End Flashback ''

A lonely tear ran done her check as she through her journal on top, closed her back and wrote a note to her mother:

_**Dear Mother,**_

_**I'm going back, but I'm afraid that I won't be back until I've finished what I've started. **_

_**I'm sorry but this is something I must do. I love you, please understand. **_

_**Please tell Sota and grandpa I love then both. **_

_**With all me love,**_

_**-Kagome**_

Leaving the note in a place where her mom was sure to find it, she made her way to the well.

(-Dilemma what color should her hair be:

Sliver, with would only make its seem sparkly.

White, because it's the opposite of black so obviously it would stand out.

Lavender 'cause that's the color of her eyes.

Lilacs, to highlight her eyes.

Violet, to contrasted her eyes.

Pink, to through of her inter look and because it works well with every thing else.

Person blue….I don't have a reason I just like that color ( Hiro Yui's eye color).

Or whatever color you think would works.

Problem two- who should she be with (Inuyasha is not an option),

A new charter,

Sesshomaru-sama,

Kouga,

Naraku,

Or someone else that I haven't thought of.

Miroku is going to be with Sango, unless requested change.

Problem three should she be with the person in the past or in the future)


	2. Note

Ok Hello people, I have not forgotten about my stories and if anyone to the time to read my bio thing you'd know that and I plan to have the 2nd chapter up with in the week, and if anyone would like to help I'd appreciated it 'cause my spelling a grammar is not the best. But I will try every hard to update as regularly as possible.

Wish me luck.


	3. Before

Letting Go Chapter 2

March 4th

A young woman no more then 16 came up from inside an old well. Throwing an enormous yellow bag over the side she quickly fallowed. Looking around curiously her soft blue eyes took on a slightly disappointed look. "How come Inuyasha isn't here to greet me?" she wondered out loud as the wind played with her raven black hair.

"KAGOME!" was heard in the distance all that was seen was a blur, witch was now attached to the young woman. "Hello Shippo" she giggled as the 'blur' clung to her. Shippo was in fact a little adorable fox demons with reddish-brown hair and green eyes, clothed in (Oo oh damn I can't remember what Shippo wears) a orange vest over a green and white shirt and dark blue pants in a style common in the warring era of Japan. She still thought that having a well that transported you, well her five hounded years in to the past was a little far fetched. That and who ever thought to put the portal in the well had a weird sense of humor. "Kagome what took you so long" the young fox demon complained.

Kagome smiled down at the cute little demon "I'm sorry Shippo, I had an unexpended delay. Where is every one?" "Well Sango and Kirara when to help a neighboring village and Miroku left shortly after them he didn't say where as for Inuyasha he took off this morning before any one woke up so I don't know" A little sad at the information, she nodded and with Shippo in her arm and she grabbed her bag and headed to the village. The same village that it's inhabitance once accused her of being a demon. The same one that her past carnation, a priestess named Kikyou, use to resided. Reflecting on all that's happed that centered around this village she mussed about just how much trouble it attracted. '_I wonder why?_'

Upon arrival she was greeted by many of the villagers most of them children and there resident priestess Keada the younger sister of Kikyou. With a polite hello to her she made Kagome made her way in to Keada's hut, she set down her bag and smiled happily as Shippo run off to play with some of the children. But her smile didn't stay long. _'Where could you be Inuyahsa, I hope that your ok. You may be strong and brave- well sometimes it's more arrogant and pride then bravery, but you where hurt before I left. Oh please let him be ok._' She thought/prayed silently.

Three Days Later-

For the past three days Kagome took the time to further her training as a priestess under the guidance of Keada. Seeing how Sango had meet up with Miroku and they both sent word that they would be retained for another few days and the ever overbearing one, Inuyasha had yet to make his appearance. Her training had gone uninterrupted. Keada was impressed with how much they accomplished once they got started. She had tried to train her in the past but with Inuyasha around nothing ever seemed to get accomplished. Once Kagome got started she was able to learn and perfect skills that took some years to learn. Kagome all though happy with this still wondered why if she could do something few could and even few in her time even dream about-then why for the love of SHOTA could she not get geometry.

"I hate math" the youth mumbled. sigh '_Inuyasha_' Kagome was worried. She'd been here three days and still no Inuyasha. Looking out into the forest she couldn't suppress the voice in the back of her mind that said he was with her. Kagome doesn't hate Kikyou- then again she doesn't exactly like her either. Had she been a live she was sure that they'd have gotten along. But seeing how she the only current way for Kikyou to truly live would be if Kagome lost her soul to her and that would never happen if she had any say. All she wanted know was for Inuyasha to see that the clay copy was not the woman he had known.

"Momma" a sleepy little fox said. "Yes Shippo?" Shippo had taken up calling her mom as of later, all though a little hesitant at first afraid that she would like it. But once he said it by accident and Kagome reacting the way she did. He's referred to her that way from then on.

**-Flash Back two days prier-**

Kagome and Shippo where gathering herbs for Keada. Walking along the ledge the earth gave way and Kagome fell. Though the fall wasn't to bad seeing how she was hardly two feet higher then where she laded. Hearing Kagome cry out- more shock then anything- scared Shippo "MOMMY!" he yelled as he whet racing to her said. The pain of the gash on her lag momentarily forgotten at Shippo's approach, she looked at Shippo. "Did you just call me mommy?" The stunned Shippo could only stutter. Eyes misty with happiness gathered the little fox close. And they both cried, one for the family he'd lost the other form the thoughts of how much the people she carded about had to suffer through and both for the family they'd found.

**-End-**

"What are you doing" he asked crawling in to her lap. It was dark out and she was sitting on a hill, just staring out at the sky. "Thinking" "oh….." there was silence for a few minuets. "Come on it's time for bed." Kagome pick up Shippo and headed back to the old priestess's.

March 12th

Inuyasha came back 4 days after Kagome had arrived and mere hours before Miroku and Sango with Kirara came back. Inuyasha had said that he had picked up on Nuraku's sent and fallowed it that's why it had taken him so long, ever one save Kagome and Keade took it at face value. And know once again there where shard hunting. Every thing seemed normal enough, except for Inuyasha he seemed more on edge lately and he'd come and go at odd times.

That night when Inuyasha left, Kaomge decided to fallow him. Deep into the woods, she fallowed until he came to a sudden halt. Thinking she'd been stopped she duck behind a tree and waited. That when she felt it, a slight tug. It was then that her suspicions where confirmed- Kikyou. Listening to the two was bad enough she couldn't bear to face them.

"Kikyou we can't keep meeting like this"

"But why Inuyasha, do you know longer desire to see me?"

"You know that's not it."  
"Then you worry that my reincarnation will find out?"

"I don't care out her"

"Then what pray-tell is so bother some about our meeting?"

"You know I love you, but I can't take the risk of Naraku finding us together, I don't want you hurt."

Kagome couldn't stay there any more, so she ran back to there camp site and faked sleeping. The next day it was business as usual.

Three days after the 'meeting in the woods' Kagome convinced- in one persons case treated, the group to head back to Keada's to stock up on supplies. '_Do you care about me at all?_' Kagome was begging to suspect not. Two days from the well they ran in to Kikyou, and surprise, surprise Naraku. They weren't fairing to well against their enemy when he sent out two attacks at once; one headed towards Kagome the other Kikyou. Kagome looked over at Inuyasha who was already half way to Kikyou. '_He chose her'_, where her last thoughts before being hit by Nuraka's attack.

Kagome woke up two days later, she had multiple burses and lacerations lucking none to deep or life threatening. At first she really couldn't move around, but that was ok she was in Sango's arms being carried on kirara. Apparently after they defeated Naraku's puppet Sango, who had see Inuyasha rust to Kikyou defense, had picked up the unconscious girl, whom she considered to be her sister and headed towards the well. With out saying a word Miroku and Shippo fallowed.

The third day after the attack Kagome was sitting buy the fire not fare from Keade's village. Considering how later it was they decide to wait tell tomorrow to travel into the village. She sat staring into the flames as they danced in a seduced belt that only few truly appreciate. Tearing her eyes away she looked around. Miroku was yet again unconscious. Sango was cleaning her gain boomerang thing (AN: can some one tell me what that's called?). Shippo was asleep curled up with Kirara. '_Awww there so cute_' and Inuyasha was sitting in the tree grumpy as ever, having finally joined back up with them. '_Why Inuyasha?_' she asked silently, one hand subconsciously raised her hand to her cheek, that had a bandage on it. Sighing she picked up her journal and began to write. In her Navy blue journal with a silver fox on the front it was a present from Shippo, Sango and Kirara for her 16th birthday.

**Dear Lady Mikel, March 19th **

**I know not how much longer I can take this. He's hurt me to badly this time. So I'm going to leave to night, when every one is asleep, and Inuyasha goes to see Kikyou. I shall leave to go home. But this time I'm not sure if I'll be coming back. All he's ever done is lie to me, and hurt me. Weather on propose or not, I just can't take it any more.**

**You said you'd protect me,**

**But I wonder is it because you think I'm her.**

**Are eyes lock,**

**Do you see me or her?**

**You flash a sexy smile,**

**Do you smile at me or who you want me to be?**

**Love begins with a smile,**

**I fell for you smile.**

**Alone in the forest,**

**And you draw me near.**

**You protect me but not from your self.**

**I gave you me heart**

**And now all I have is tears.**

**Does loving you always ends with in tears.**

**Never say you love me,**

**When you do not really care**

**Never talk of feelings,**

**That aren't really there**

**Never squeeze my hand,**

**If you intend to break my heart.**

**Never tell me forever,**

**If you ever plan to part.**

**Never look me in the eye,**

**If you are going to lie.**

**Never say "hello"**

**If you will ever say goodbye.**

**Never say that I am the only one**

**If you dream of more than me,**

**Of the one you say I use to be.**

**Never lock up my heart**

**If you do not have the key.**

**You ignored what I told you**

**Now my heart is frozen to you.**

**I can never forget,**

**What you said that fateful day.**

**The way your eyes shined**

**Oh how you held me close**

**You said you loved**

**But you didn't really care**

**You told me how much you cared**

**But the feeling weren't truly there**

**You squeezed my hand**

**And then proceeded to broke my hart**

**Forever is forever no shorter then that**

**But you decided to part**

**You told me so many lies**

**As you gazed into my eyes**

**You said "hello"**

**But then you walked on by**

**You promised too never to say goodbye**

**You told me things you did not mean,**

**You dreamed of others, who were not me**

**I can not find the key to my heart**

**For you took it with you from the start**

**You left me alone in the end**

**And now that my heart is broken,**

**So many words left unspoken**

**I need someone**

**To hold me**

**To help me**

**To fight this evil that now controls who I am**

**To re-melt my frozen heart**

**To show me love once again**

**That someone I know see is not you**

**For you left me**

**When you said you wouldn't**

**You did not care**

**Even as you said you did**

**What am I supposed to do?**

**I searched for help**

**For love and happiness**

**Some one to mend this broken heart of mine**

**Is there any one who can?**

**Will I find them in time?**

**Or will my heart never mend?**

**Will I for ever be this way, alone and cold?**

**Am I destined to be forever alone?**

**-Kagome**

'_This is it. This is my good bye. I can't be hurt by you again. I wont be hurt bay you again._'

Kagome closed her journal and waited. An hour and a half later she stood at the lip of the well, she looked back into the dense forest, "Good bye Inuyasha" With that she walked a way, She looked back on last time, pined a note to the well so that they'd find it and went home. Once on the other side she put up a temporary seal. She leaned against the well and cried, and that's how her mother found her the next morning.

Authors Note: Sorry if this is confusing, but all will be made clear.

Pole: Hair highlights/streaks: a form of; Blue, purple, pink, white, silver, something I haven't said?

Love interest: Future or Past?

Who should she be involved with?

Oh and I don't own Inuyasha.


End file.
